Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Because I know Jojo is reading my blog, hello to you. Thanks for company today. I realise I did learn stuff today when I tried doing recall. So, happiness! =) I'm glad I met you and talked about all random stuff. I learn a lot today, mostly about rape and all things related to it. I never know about the "pay-per-entry" thing as E so affectionately named it and the difference between sub-court and high court, not to mention the case igniting in me the whole "do not import foreign workers for a safe Singapore" fury.
But that has come to pass.
On my way home I remember thinking really deeply about something. Only I can't remember what it is all about now. URGH. I know its something important and I promised myself I would spend some time blogging about it. My memory will be the death of me someday.
Anyway. I thought I made some progress. Moved along some. But earthquake happened and guess what? I'm back, square one. This snake and ladder board have improportionate number of snake and ladders. No prize for guessing which populates the board in greater numbers. I need to hire more carpenters.
I seem to have endless patience and endurance for you. And, only you.
I don't understand.
-edit-
I'm hungry.
I should STOP skipping meals.
Not healthy.
But no appetite.
What a dilemma.
=(
But that has come to pass.
On my way home I remember thinking really deeply about something. Only I can't remember what it is all about now. URGH. I know its something important and I promised myself I would spend some time blogging about it. My memory will be the death of me someday.
Anyway. I thought I made some progress. Moved along some. But earthquake happened and guess what? I'm back, square one. This snake and ladder board have improportionate number of snake and ladders. No prize for guessing which populates the board in greater numbers. I need to hire more carpenters.
I seem to have endless patience and endurance for you. And, only you.
I don't understand.
-edit-
I'm hungry.
I should STOP skipping meals.
Not healthy.
But no appetite.
What a dilemma.
=(
I remember a while ago I used to take time off my busy schedule to go off somewhere for a day on my own. I called it MY OWNSELF TIME. Yeah it is in bad English but nonetheless I enjoyed these times away from the "real world". Escapism works for me. Then at least.
All those times I spent in national library alone, sitting at the sky garden, drinking in the sights, enjoying the breeze. And all those times I spent on bus 5 all the way from home to Great World City... Its a long ride, one on which i used to spend time glazing out of the window, watching the world pass by. Great World City is deserted on weekdays which suits me just fine. I spend the entire day walking around aimlessly, window shopping at Zara, being a bookworm in Harris, browsing the collections in That CD Shop all the while munching on Subway cookies. There's even GV cinema there. I remember that I wanted to watch "The Leap Year" alone but was too timid to do so... So long ago.
Now I don't seem to do all these anymore. I used to love the isolation and the alone time I get. After all it is really quality time with myself, but now, I seem to crave company more. I seek the comfort that I can get when I'm surrounded by people. The more familiar the face is, the better. And yet I hardly talk. Oh yes mindless chatter? That's for sure. Its all superficial. I wonder when this all started, I think it has been there for a while now, only I discovered it now.
3 months waiting for me to "heal" myself. To be comfortable in my own skin again and to be appreciative of my own company. To stand up tall. To be able to tell myself "Joyce lift up your head high, chin up!" and believe in it wholeheartedly. =)
Arh. To be a daredevil again. How fun that would be.
I bet reading all of this, you are surprised to find a different side of me. Not many people know.
All those times I spent in national library alone, sitting at the sky garden, drinking in the sights, enjoying the breeze. And all those times I spent on bus 5 all the way from home to Great World City... Its a long ride, one on which i used to spend time glazing out of the window, watching the world pass by. Great World City is deserted on weekdays which suits me just fine. I spend the entire day walking around aimlessly, window shopping at Zara, being a bookworm in Harris, browsing the collections in That CD Shop all the while munching on Subway cookies. There's even GV cinema there. I remember that I wanted to watch "The Leap Year" alone but was too timid to do so... So long ago.
Now I don't seem to do all these anymore. I used to love the isolation and the alone time I get. After all it is really quality time with myself, but now, I seem to crave company more. I seek the comfort that I can get when I'm surrounded by people. The more familiar the face is, the better. And yet I hardly talk. Oh yes mindless chatter? That's for sure. Its all superficial. I wonder when this all started, I think it has been there for a while now, only I discovered it now.
3 months waiting for me to "heal" myself. To be comfortable in my own skin again and to be appreciative of my own company. To stand up tall. To be able to tell myself "Joyce lift up your head high, chin up!" and believe in it wholeheartedly. =)
Arh. To be a daredevil again. How fun that would be.
I bet reading all of this, you are surprised to find a different side of me. Not many people know.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Never expected cycling to be so fun. I still have to learn how to be stable and cycle in a straight line along the road and how to make sharp turns. Its that chicken heart of mine, making me fearful of falling, that's holding me back!!! I still don't deal well with pedestrians but am making great progress on slopes. *grins* Its the achievement that has me singing along to that tune in my head. =) One day i shall be confident enough to go night cycling!!
Talking about singing and tunes... I brought along my guitar and we had a mini strumming session along the beach. Talk about romantic. HAHA!!! Maybe something can be done with regards to the company!! XP I'm so sorry you. HAHA. Though neither of us can really sing, he was real great at deciphering the cords and I of course am great at playing cords! (totally kidding! My nails were too long on my left hand it was a chore getting the cords right.) but it sure was relaxing and something that I had thought of doing a while back. Thanks for remembering and making that effort. I appreciate it.
And it was a beautiful day with skies that tinge of blue and the grass that green. =)
Talking about singing and tunes... I brought along my guitar and we had a mini strumming session along the beach. Talk about romantic. HAHA!!! Maybe something can be done with regards to the company!! XP I'm so sorry you. HAHA. Though neither of us can really sing, he was real great at deciphering the cords and I of course am great at playing cords! (totally kidding! My nails were too long on my left hand it was a chore getting the cords right.) but it sure was relaxing and something that I had thought of doing a while back. Thanks for remembering and making that effort. I appreciate it.
And it was a beautiful day with skies that tinge of blue and the grass that green. =)
Hmm. as expected, i didn't sleep all that well last night. This morning/afternoon i was so reluctant to get out of bed, tired and yet more sleep would only make me more restless. Didn't managed to get ultra good sleep cause of one reason or another but partly cause everybody (or so it seems) decided that they should message me at odd hours aka 2am, 6am, 9am... bahhh. Sabotage my sleep!!
Okies i'm off. Cycling time =) because i promised myself to get out more and breathe more fresh air.
Okies i'm off. Cycling time =) because i promised myself to get out more and breathe more fresh air.
Monday, April 20, 2009
DO I HAVE TO EMPHASIS ON HOW I HATE SITTING NEXT TO PEOPLE WHO SHAKE THEIR LEGS???
BLOODY IRRITATING.
That was a total mood spoiler. I don't only have to stand the shaking of the table and the floor trembles but I also have to be forced to listen to the sound of his jeans rubbing against the plastic seat covering! URGHH. eek..eek..eek..eek the whole time. I've got a good mind to turn and give him a killer stare if he doesn't quit soon. Lets see my tolerance level.
Anyways on to happier things. I HAD MY MAC BREAKFAST!! =) Happy happy. Its amazing how such things can light up my life now. hahaha. My proj mate was so nice to offer company for breakfast. =) Haha but i being the unappreciative idiot tried to remind him of his age the whole time. heehee. Can't blame me la. I'm not even 20 yet and he's already reaching the halfway mark. "Different generation" lo. Quite nice to make fun of. xp
Yawns. I'm so tired. =( Time to adjust my sleeping time to that of a normal person... Not an easy thing to do.
Hello recess week.
BLOODY IRRITATING.
That was a total mood spoiler. I don't only have to stand the shaking of the table and the floor trembles but I also have to be forced to listen to the sound of his jeans rubbing against the plastic seat covering! URGHH. eek..eek..eek..eek the whole time. I've got a good mind to turn and give him a killer stare if he doesn't quit soon. Lets see my tolerance level.
Anyways on to happier things. I HAD MY MAC BREAKFAST!! =) Happy happy. Its amazing how such things can light up my life now. hahaha. My proj mate was so nice to offer company for breakfast. =) Haha but i being the unappreciative idiot tried to remind him of his age the whole time. heehee. Can't blame me la. I'm not even 20 yet and he's already reaching the halfway mark. "Different generation" lo. Quite nice to make fun of. xp
Yawns. I'm so tired. =( Time to adjust my sleeping time to that of a normal person... Not an easy thing to do.
Hello recess week.
I'm craving for tauhuay!! and mac breakfast-mcmuffin!! and i want my p.osh brownies too!!
I think i'm pregnant. Craving for so many things.
Should I go to sch earlier tml to get my mac breakfast fix??? should i should i should i??
I think i'm pregnant. Craving for so many things.
Should I go to sch earlier tml to get my mac breakfast fix??? should i should i should i??
Sunday, April 19, 2009
"You know that feeling? That feeling when you just want the right thing to fall into the right place, not only because it’s right, but because it will mean that such a thing is still possible? I want to believe that."
I just saw the above quote when blog-hopping a while ago. Sets me thinking and in a way, it sure is a great wrap-up quote for this entire week.
It has been a roller-coaster week for me. No not in terms of studies. I had my projects done since last week. More like in terms of my emotions and mental health. Of course certain people would know what i am referring to. How i was so affected and just keep acting like a freaking 90 yr old engine, breaking down coughing dust. Hmm my sleeping patterns were a more accurate indication of that. Insomnia took control of my sleep. urgh. And there was this one night that i couldn't sleep because i could hardly breathe after all those tears. Hmm thankful for those who stayed up with me!
In any case, one episode of my life has just finished production. I shall now proceed to tie up all the loose ends and place that roll of film into the storage room. I now sleep better (LOADS) and feel much happier.
You know what you have done. Somethings will just haunt your memories. Some people will never fade. It pricks at your conscious. I think I gave everything I could. And now I can give no more because I feel that I'm only being taken advantage of and because of the possibility that you don't care for all of that anyway. You know how depressing that is to me.
Anyway, I remember a quote from GG said by Blair that goes along the lines of... "I like watching those movies over and over again because that way, I know how things are going to turn out in the end." I agree with her. Somehow. Maybe it might make life boring because you know how things are going to be like, you don't have the chance to experiment. But I guess i'm jaded. For a little while at least. I want my efforts to count towards something... not wasted because someone don't appreciates or recognise it. I know I will probably take back all these words someday... As of now, lets hope that someday comes. =)
because the quote echos something deep within me...
I just saw the above quote when blog-hopping a while ago. Sets me thinking and in a way, it sure is a great wrap-up quote for this entire week.
It has been a roller-coaster week for me. No not in terms of studies. I had my projects done since last week. More like in terms of my emotions and mental health. Of course certain people would know what i am referring to. How i was so affected and just keep acting like a freaking 90 yr old engine, breaking down coughing dust. Hmm my sleeping patterns were a more accurate indication of that. Insomnia took control of my sleep. urgh. And there was this one night that i couldn't sleep because i could hardly breathe after all those tears. Hmm thankful for those who stayed up with me!
In any case, one episode of my life has just finished production. I shall now proceed to tie up all the loose ends and place that roll of film into the storage room. I now sleep better (LOADS) and feel much happier.
You know what you have done. Somethings will just haunt your memories. Some people will never fade. It pricks at your conscious. I think I gave everything I could. And now I can give no more because I feel that I'm only being taken advantage of and because of the possibility that you don't care for all of that anyway. You know how depressing that is to me.
Anyway, I remember a quote from GG said by Blair that goes along the lines of... "I like watching those movies over and over again because that way, I know how things are going to turn out in the end." I agree with her. Somehow. Maybe it might make life boring because you know how things are going to be like, you don't have the chance to experiment. But I guess i'm jaded. For a little while at least. I want my efforts to count towards something... not wasted because someone don't appreciates or recognise it. I know I will probably take back all these words someday... As of now, lets hope that someday comes. =)
because the quote echos something deep within me...
Sunday, April 12, 2009
I had a really bad day. =(
I don't know what am i up to anymore. Lost that sense of direction. URGH. I need my motivation back asap since exams are so freaking near. Its a wonder i ain't freaking out just yet. Just wait just wait... soon i will and then will it be too late?
I'm so sorry for being so emo-mo-mo nowadays. I really am. And its not my fault entirely that i'm so fair. Don't blame me for it. Its my skin tone. Don't like it or think that i'm real ghostly? Oh just leave me alone. I don't need such comments cluttering up my life.
Angsty me. HAHA.
There's just something I haven't got figured out. I think I know the answer but I can't quit thinking or wondering if it is really the right one. Too bad life is really not like a MCQ exam, don't know the answer oh well just pick up that dice and "ti-kam". If only. Reminds me of the game plan that we came up with for our presentation for intercultural coms.. hahaha. i had fun writing that. Ask to see it if you are interested. I'm sure you'll gather a laugh if not a couple from it. =)
My days were really full this week. I had so much time playing after projects were over. I went cycling finally!! And all would be glad to know that I broke that lousy curse which decreeds that I fall everytime i cycle. So proud of myself. Hahahaha. Only I embarrassed myself so many times in front of shaun. urgh. Met like so many ppl... who somehow all turned out to by guys... =( I'm not promiscuous. really.
Actually it sucks. Because it is a matter of feeling right. And nope none of them felt right. Not the way its supposed to be. Not the way I feel when... when i'm with you. hahahaa. Is it therefore a bad thing to have so many guy friends? blah. Don't judge me. You have no idea how I feel.
I had a bad day. =(
I need sleep.
and a hug.
*hugs*
nites
I don't know what am i up to anymore. Lost that sense of direction. URGH. I need my motivation back asap since exams are so freaking near. Its a wonder i ain't freaking out just yet. Just wait just wait... soon i will and then will it be too late?
I'm so sorry for being so emo-mo-mo nowadays. I really am. And its not my fault entirely that i'm so fair. Don't blame me for it. Its my skin tone. Don't like it or think that i'm real ghostly? Oh just leave me alone. I don't need such comments cluttering up my life.
Angsty me. HAHA.
There's just something I haven't got figured out. I think I know the answer but I can't quit thinking or wondering if it is really the right one. Too bad life is really not like a MCQ exam, don't know the answer oh well just pick up that dice and "ti-kam". If only. Reminds me of the game plan that we came up with for our presentation for intercultural coms.. hahaha. i had fun writing that. Ask to see it if you are interested. I'm sure you'll gather a laugh if not a couple from it. =)
My days were really full this week. I had so much time playing after projects were over. I went cycling finally!! And all would be glad to know that I broke that lousy curse which decreeds that I fall everytime i cycle. So proud of myself. Hahahaha. Only I embarrassed myself so many times in front of shaun. urgh. Met like so many ppl... who somehow all turned out to by guys... =( I'm not promiscuous. really.
Actually it sucks. Because it is a matter of feeling right. And nope none of them felt right. Not the way its supposed to be. Not the way I feel when... when i'm with you. hahahaa. Is it therefore a bad thing to have so many guy friends? blah. Don't judge me. You have no idea how I feel.
I had a bad day. =(
I need sleep.
and a hug.
*hugs*
nites
Saturday, April 11, 2009
"aiyoh,must mug harder la!
dun be a lazy bum and let ur mind wander off
too bad i'm not free..
maybe u can make a mannequin of me to accompany u to study and keep ur mind focused..
hahaha"
=)
live life for such small things.
thanks for making me smile.
dun be a lazy bum and let ur mind wander off
too bad i'm not free..
maybe u can make a mannequin of me to accompany u to study and keep ur mind focused..
hahaha"
=)
live life for such small things.
thanks for making me smile.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Saturday, April 04, 2009
I can't wait for tuesday to come! Once tuesday is history, i would be done with all my group presentations as well as assignments. It is going to be a huge sigh of relief.
Just yesterday I was counting the number of essays that i had to write this sem and the number came up to about 14. OMG. This as compared to last sem is a killer amount. No wonder this sem, half the time i'm busy pulling out my hair. 14 essays!!! I'm still so awed by the amount... consider that i have not added in my weekly reflections and all the different drafts. I must have lost alot of hair... haha.
Hmm.. supposed to be doing my assignment now but... i've got no mood. then again, what's new.
-make me smile and laugh again.. like the world can't be more beautiful.-
Just yesterday I was counting the number of essays that i had to write this sem and the number came up to about 14. OMG. This as compared to last sem is a killer amount. No wonder this sem, half the time i'm busy pulling out my hair. 14 essays!!! I'm still so awed by the amount... consider that i have not added in my weekly reflections and all the different drafts. I must have lost alot of hair... haha.
Hmm.. supposed to be doing my assignment now but... i've got no mood. then again, what's new.
-make me smile and laugh again.. like the world can't be more beautiful.-
Thursday, April 02, 2009
I had a wonderful night. Watched "Confessions of a Shopaholic" with pampam at downtown east. =) What an enjoyable date girl. So glad we went to catch it, definitely lighten up my mood LOADS. And the sushi dinner? Just wonderful.
Anyone hesitating over whether to watch that movie or not? WELL, its so light-hearted and funny and colourful, its sure to lighten up ur mood. So if u need a cheer-me-up thing to do, u've found it. Rebecca Bloomwood would make u smile and laugh. Bring along that girlfriend of yours and chill out together. Have a bf? Well, he'll probably enjoy the silliness, but, this is a GIRLFRIEND movie!
Btw i said some stupid stuffs again today. Not things that i don't mean. But just... i sound so desperate and pathetic saying it, i just want to slap myself upside down. BUT i mean it.
You know, I can feel myself changing, and into what kind of person i don't know. I just don't like this new joyce. Subtle changes and already I'm complaining. Remind me of that cheerful girl I once was please. I seem to have this perpetual gloom hanging above my head. My work only suffers because of it. Not right not right. Where are you, the one person who could make the world seem so much prettier and better?
Now, hand me back my mask. BIG SMILE. say cheese. *click* (because to the rest, only the superficial joyce matters)
I would love to blog more but maybe another time. SLEEP.
Anyone hesitating over whether to watch that movie or not? WELL, its so light-hearted and funny and colourful, its sure to lighten up ur mood. So if u need a cheer-me-up thing to do, u've found it. Rebecca Bloomwood would make u smile and laugh. Bring along that girlfriend of yours and chill out together. Have a bf? Well, he'll probably enjoy the silliness, but, this is a GIRLFRIEND movie!
Btw i said some stupid stuffs again today. Not things that i don't mean. But just... i sound so desperate and pathetic saying it, i just want to slap myself upside down. BUT i mean it.
You know, I can feel myself changing, and into what kind of person i don't know. I just don't like this new joyce. Subtle changes and already I'm complaining. Remind me of that cheerful girl I once was please. I seem to have this perpetual gloom hanging above my head. My work only suffers because of it. Not right not right. Where are you, the one person who could make the world seem so much prettier and better?
Now, hand me back my mask. BIG SMILE. say cheese. *click* (because to the rest, only the superficial joyce matters)
I would love to blog more but maybe another time. SLEEP.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
