Thursday, April 23, 2009
I remember a while ago I used to take time off my busy schedule to go off somewhere for a day on my own. I called it MY OWNSELF TIME. Yeah it is in bad English but nonetheless I enjoyed these times away from the "real world". Escapism works for me. Then at least.
All those times I spent in national library alone, sitting at the sky garden, drinking in the sights, enjoying the breeze. And all those times I spent on bus 5 all the way from home to Great World City... Its a long ride, one on which i used to spend time glazing out of the window, watching the world pass by. Great World City is deserted on weekdays which suits me just fine. I spend the entire day walking around aimlessly, window shopping at Zara, being a bookworm in Harris, browsing the collections in That CD Shop all the while munching on Subway cookies. There's even GV cinema there. I remember that I wanted to watch "The Leap Year" alone but was too timid to do so... So long ago.
Now I don't seem to do all these anymore. I used to love the isolation and the alone time I get. After all it is really quality time with myself, but now, I seem to crave company more. I seek the comfort that I can get when I'm surrounded by people. The more familiar the face is, the better. And yet I hardly talk. Oh yes mindless chatter? That's for sure. Its all superficial. I wonder when this all started, I think it has been there for a while now, only I discovered it now.
3 months waiting for me to "heal" myself. To be comfortable in my own skin again and to be appreciative of my own company. To stand up tall. To be able to tell myself "Joyce lift up your head high, chin up!" and believe in it wholeheartedly. =)
Arh. To be a daredevil again. How fun that would be.
I bet reading all of this, you are surprised to find a different side of me. Not many people know.
All those times I spent in national library alone, sitting at the sky garden, drinking in the sights, enjoying the breeze. And all those times I spent on bus 5 all the way from home to Great World City... Its a long ride, one on which i used to spend time glazing out of the window, watching the world pass by. Great World City is deserted on weekdays which suits me just fine. I spend the entire day walking around aimlessly, window shopping at Zara, being a bookworm in Harris, browsing the collections in That CD Shop all the while munching on Subway cookies. There's even GV cinema there. I remember that I wanted to watch "The Leap Year" alone but was too timid to do so... So long ago.
Now I don't seem to do all these anymore. I used to love the isolation and the alone time I get. After all it is really quality time with myself, but now, I seem to crave company more. I seek the comfort that I can get when I'm surrounded by people. The more familiar the face is, the better. And yet I hardly talk. Oh yes mindless chatter? That's for sure. Its all superficial. I wonder when this all started, I think it has been there for a while now, only I discovered it now.
3 months waiting for me to "heal" myself. To be comfortable in my own skin again and to be appreciative of my own company. To stand up tall. To be able to tell myself "Joyce lift up your head high, chin up!" and believe in it wholeheartedly. =)
Arh. To be a daredevil again. How fun that would be.
I bet reading all of this, you are surprised to find a different side of me. Not many people know.
