Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Hello peeps. Currently in a not so stable mood because i am a little siao. Even my body is agreeing to my sentence, punctuating my days with dizzy spells, headaches, stomach cramps (for no apparent reason) and whatever there is. URGH. I am indeed not well. I can say the same for my memory too.
"=)" all that i sent. shh..
Hold on joyce. =)
"=)" all that i sent. shh..
Hold on joyce. =)
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Last night was awful. I so din know that i can just collapse like that. I think i have been putting too much expectations on myself unknowingly such that i'm overstressing myself unnecessarily. The first time in many many years, i ran to my mom. I din know what to do but just sat there beside her. I think she got shocked too because she also din expect me to react that way. Luckily she tried to listen and tried to comfort me. I miss her touch so much. You can really feel the love radiating off from her as she tried to sooth me.
Luckily too that i had u to call. I sent u a msg on impulse cause i was really quite upset. So glad when u tried to cheer me up. With all the funny stupid stories. Nonetheless, i was calmed by your voice. I know that u were awed too cause u never knew what to do when tears are involved. But u tried your best to comfort me. Even though i was breathing like some huge animal cause i had yet to catch my breath, you stayed there listening. No words were said but ur presence was enough. To know that u cared. That's all that matters. I had never spoken on the phone for so so long before. I mean handphone. It was more than an hour but it was worth it. A smile on my face was evident and i slept well after that. Many thanks angel... <3
There's so much more for me to do. I know i can do it. It comforts me when my efforts are being recognised even though effort does not always and surely translate to pretty grades on pieces of paper. I feel that it is worth it. Worth all my slp time just to show you that i am trying. It never seems enough though but now i know for sure that my family and my friends and u are behind me. I have nothing more to worry. It is up to me.
And i'm going for prom. Time to stop all the unhealthy diets!! And stop worrying about pimples. URGH!
Luckily too that i had u to call. I sent u a msg on impulse cause i was really quite upset. So glad when u tried to cheer me up. With all the funny stupid stories. Nonetheless, i was calmed by your voice. I know that u were awed too cause u never knew what to do when tears are involved. But u tried your best to comfort me. Even though i was breathing like some huge animal cause i had yet to catch my breath, you stayed there listening. No words were said but ur presence was enough. To know that u cared. That's all that matters. I had never spoken on the phone for so so long before. I mean handphone. It was more than an hour but it was worth it. A smile on my face was evident and i slept well after that. Many thanks angel... <3
There's so much more for me to do. I know i can do it. It comforts me when my efforts are being recognised even though effort does not always and surely translate to pretty grades on pieces of paper. I feel that it is worth it. Worth all my slp time just to show you that i am trying. It never seems enough though but now i know for sure that my family and my friends and u are behind me. I have nothing more to worry. It is up to me.
And i'm going for prom. Time to stop all the unhealthy diets!! And stop worrying about pimples. URGH!
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Squash is my life!!
I felt so stressed recently that everything was in chaos. My feelings my thoughts basically everything la huh.
I made a right choice squashing today. Volunteered my services at the courts today to the darling J1s. Really wish that they would be able to achieve much more than us. Now i feel myself more at peace with myself after playing and hitting those balls. Exhausted maybe but happy. =)
No matter how temporary this might be, i'm feeling good.
Its just a matter of time before i'm back to that highly strung mad crazy woman. Just a matter of time. How depressing...
Today's Yvette and Thaddeus' birthday...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BOTH. =)
I felt so stressed recently that everything was in chaos. My feelings my thoughts basically everything la huh.
I made a right choice squashing today. Volunteered my services at the courts today to the darling J1s. Really wish that they would be able to achieve much more than us. Now i feel myself more at peace with myself after playing and hitting those balls. Exhausted maybe but happy. =)
No matter how temporary this might be, i'm feeling good.
Its just a matter of time before i'm back to that highly strung mad crazy woman. Just a matter of time. How depressing...
Today's Yvette and Thaddeus' birthday...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BOTH. =)
Monday, July 23, 2007
Do i have the courage?
I want to tell you that i am going to stop all communications with you that involves me initiating anything. I want to tell you that i'm leaving it all to you. Its because i'm confused. I really do not understand what is happening and what i should do. You told me then not to be distracted by you, and then regret when i don't do well for my As. So far it has not been easy. I told you my feelings, or rather was kinda forced to admit. Now i want to know how you feel too.
I shall try to leave it to you. The fate of our relationship. The path that it will take. I'm not entirely hopeful but it beats me wondering. If u chose to let it lie, maybe i'd look you up after As. Or would you have already gone? To Australia or elsewhere? 3 months can mean a lot. It is a long and trying time for me. Just where would you chose to be? With me?...
I want to tell you that i am going to stop all communications with you that involves me initiating anything. I want to tell you that i'm leaving it all to you. Its because i'm confused. I really do not understand what is happening and what i should do. You told me then not to be distracted by you, and then regret when i don't do well for my As. So far it has not been easy. I told you my feelings, or rather was kinda forced to admit. Now i want to know how you feel too.
I shall try to leave it to you. The fate of our relationship. The path that it will take. I'm not entirely hopeful but it beats me wondering. If u chose to let it lie, maybe i'd look you up after As. Or would you have already gone? To Australia or elsewhere? 3 months can mean a lot. It is a long and trying time for me. Just where would you chose to be? With me?...
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Aww the care freeness. So nice. =)
Hope u all like this picture as much as i do...
Oh and golf was fun.
Hitting the ball not as easy as it looks alright.
Alot of emphasis is being placed on the stance or just call it the positioning of ur body.
I was tired out after the golfing session.
Nah ain't kidding.
=) Hit the balls far far far.
Ppl with huge huge huge umbrellas with wheelbarrows pick up the balls.
Amusing!!
Haha. In case u are wondering, the umbrellas are to protect themselves from the constant ammunition that is being "fired" from the range. LOL.
They look so funny.
2 umbrellas walking around.
=)
And someone please define LOVE for me..
It is driving me nuts!
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Photoblog today! Can't be bothered to type much so decided to do this. =) Moreover this is long over due.
JAZZ 4 CHAZZ day
yung, me and loraine in our house colours. Fresh and all ready for a long tiring day ahead of us.
HANDOVER DAY
Tab, me and gladys. we all look nice. =)
Squash comm OLD and NEW. loves.
Squash comm 06/07
Sebas, del, wei, gladys, hong, tab, joyce
tab me and yinghua (new squash vicecap!) cute and adorable girl. haha
SO CUTE RIGHT!! lol. Me and raj the new captain. =))
Del looks so scary in the background. Like some ghost! The old vice cap and the new one, beside me. Pardon me for not making the photo upright. I'm just lazy. Crane ur necks a little it won't hurt u. xp
There's more but i'm lazy. Here for now. =)
JAZZ 4 CHAZZ day
yung, me and loraine in our house colours. Fresh and all ready for a long tiring day ahead of us.
HANDOVER DAY
Tab, me and gladys. we all look nice. =)
Squash comm OLD and NEW. loves.
Squash comm 06/07
Sebas, del, wei, gladys, hong, tab, joyce
tab me and yinghua (new squash vicecap!) cute and adorable girl. haha
SO CUTE RIGHT!! lol. Me and raj the new captain. =))
Del looks so scary in the background. Like some ghost! The old vice cap and the new one, beside me. Pardon me for not making the photo upright. I'm just lazy. Crane ur necks a little it won't hurt u. xp
There's more but i'm lazy. Here for now. =)
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Today is our handover for squash. official now. I feel the loss so much i stayed back and watched training. Remembering those times that i spent in the courts doing pretty much that they were doing. Growing, learning, gaining muscle mass and loosing fat content. LOL! Those were the days. Even when training became tougher. We pushed on and persevered. I miss the days. Now under strict instructions i'm suppose to become a hermit and become a mugger to the core. No time left and with such horrible results. OH MAN.
Pics soon. I'm lazy to upload them now cause i'm rather tired too. Another day.
Tml's harry potter day. =) i simply can't wait!!! Hahaha...
my nick:" can i be selfish and ask you to stay by me?"
An innocent one. I wanted to tell u that it was u i had in mind the whole entire time the whole entire conversation but all that i managed was a "that person is really special to me". no my dear he's not a fishmonger who "sel-fish" but you. Would i have the courage? To tell you just how special u are to me?
And i got into trouble for not going for the "civil servant talk". A boring and nonsense thing. Nonetheless i got into trouble.....
Pics soon. I'm lazy to upload them now cause i'm rather tired too. Another day.
Tml's harry potter day. =) i simply can't wait!!! Hahaha...
my nick:" can i be selfish and ask you to stay by me?"
An innocent one. I wanted to tell u that it was u i had in mind the whole entire time the whole entire conversation but all that i managed was a "that person is really special to me". no my dear he's not a fishmonger who "sel-fish" but you. Would i have the courage? To tell you just how special u are to me?
And i got into trouble for not going for the "civil servant talk". A boring and nonsense thing. Nonetheless i got into trouble.....
Sunday, July 08, 2007
I am so so so pissed. It is just irritating the hell outta me. Just totally hate it.
Who am i to you man. It is just not justified. I think u totally lost all the right to ask me to do anything for you. Why should i when you do not even earn it?
Damn pissed. I did it all and you come and ask me to change something for you when i have already done it? What is this?
i'm impatient with you because this is not the first time that it is happening. You totally did not justify yourself. Wad's all that talk about responsibility? I spent time and effort on it. Don't just come in and take everything away. That's retarded.
-loves-
Wadever i shan't dedicate this entire blog entry to that dark cloud in the clear blue skies.
I've been seeing S56 ppl like randomly everywhere. Usually around the orchard area and pasir ris. Current count:6. hahaz.. Saw zwing today and she's more or less the same as ever. I so miss them all. =) Maybe she'll come study with me someday!! haha.
And i found all my letters from those times. Aww sweet memories. <3
I am going to read them. So precious.
Who am i to you man. It is just not justified. I think u totally lost all the right to ask me to do anything for you. Why should i when you do not even earn it?
Damn pissed. I did it all and you come and ask me to change something for you when i have already done it? What is this?
i'm impatient with you because this is not the first time that it is happening. You totally did not justify yourself. Wad's all that talk about responsibility? I spent time and effort on it. Don't just come in and take everything away. That's retarded.
-loves-
Wadever i shan't dedicate this entire blog entry to that dark cloud in the clear blue skies.
I've been seeing S56 ppl like randomly everywhere. Usually around the orchard area and pasir ris. Current count:6. hahaz.. Saw zwing today and she's more or less the same as ever. I so miss them all. =) Maybe she'll come study with me someday!! haha.
And i found all my letters from those times. Aww sweet memories. <3
I am going to read them. So precious.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Today was Jazz for Chazz day.
CIP day.
TIRED.
I got interviewed for some program. i wonder wad it is all about. Oh man. If it goes on national tv i'm gonna like dig a hole in the ground. Poverty and how to stop it. I felt like i was doing some GP essay when being interviewed. That david guy spotted us in MJ colours and the rest was history. Interviewed on orchard road. A first and definitely interesting. =)
Stand for about 5 hours. Giving out pamphlets is no easy task. They either ignore you or do weird things. The most common thing that happened was... "Hi sir/mam would u mind taking a look at this? We are trying to raise awareness for ...." and the reply that came was "NO" yet funnily enough the person walked away without taking a look. Goodness. If that was any indication of our country's level of intelligence, i would have to judge that we are mostly illiterate!!!!
Oh nvm. I shall never do that again. Raise awareness? Maybe be the main organiser and not do the street work. Not my cup of tea. Sheesh.
I'm tired.
Study tml.
Cya.
CIP day.
TIRED.
I got interviewed for some program. i wonder wad it is all about. Oh man. If it goes on national tv i'm gonna like dig a hole in the ground. Poverty and how to stop it. I felt like i was doing some GP essay when being interviewed. That david guy spotted us in MJ colours and the rest was history. Interviewed on orchard road. A first and definitely interesting. =)
Stand for about 5 hours. Giving out pamphlets is no easy task. They either ignore you or do weird things. The most common thing that happened was... "Hi sir/mam would u mind taking a look at this? We are trying to raise awareness for ...." and the reply that came was "NO" yet funnily enough the person walked away without taking a look. Goodness. If that was any indication of our country's level of intelligence, i would have to judge that we are mostly illiterate!!!!
Oh nvm. I shall never do that again. Raise awareness? Maybe be the main organiser and not do the street work. Not my cup of tea. Sheesh.
I'm tired.
Study tml.
Cya.
Friday, July 06, 2007
Its gonna be a super BUSY term and i'm not kidding. Crap sch started for only 2 days and already my calender is so full. No kidding. With all the extra stuffs and activities i think i might have to squeeze my weekends for time!!! Urgh.
If only i had made good use of my J1 year.
No regrets.
An interesting question about how fictional characters affect our lives or impact us. Hmm.. One of the GP essay qns for midyrs. I thought of BARBIE immediately. Stop to think. Don't u think she has made so much contribution? To our thoughts and wad's perfection?
Though materialistic in some sense but doesn't every gal at one point or another aspire to be as beautiful as her? Own countless amounts of clothes? Or have a handsome boyfriend?
Such is the truth. Its idealism. Its a dream.
Who can deny us that right to dream?
I love dreams. =)
Even day dreams.
The fuzzy wuzzy feeling i get. <3
Oh and my teachers are all getting cranky.
Lets hope they take a good long rest this weekend.
It is good for all our mental health!
Haha!!
I gained fat and lost muscles. The weighing scale is not any wiser.
I am 1 cm shorter now. =(
I want to go on that OCIP thing.
I would be so much fun.
Tonnes in fact.
I'll love it.
Hope.
I feel as though i'm currently wandering aimlessly about.
Nothing much to worry about i should think.
But sometimes i really wonder who am i to you.
I doubt you know i'm referring to you.
Haha.
Wad a fool life makes of us.
Lets all make FULL use of it. Not "fool" use of it.
Pun intended.
Tml's a CIP day.
=)
If only i had made good use of my J1 year.
No regrets.
An interesting question about how fictional characters affect our lives or impact us. Hmm.. One of the GP essay qns for midyrs. I thought of BARBIE immediately. Stop to think. Don't u think she has made so much contribution? To our thoughts and wad's perfection?
Though materialistic in some sense but doesn't every gal at one point or another aspire to be as beautiful as her? Own countless amounts of clothes? Or have a handsome boyfriend?
Such is the truth. Its idealism. Its a dream.
Who can deny us that right to dream?
I love dreams. =)
Even day dreams.
The fuzzy wuzzy feeling i get. <3
Oh and my teachers are all getting cranky.
Lets hope they take a good long rest this weekend.
It is good for all our mental health!
Haha!!
I gained fat and lost muscles. The weighing scale is not any wiser.
I am 1 cm shorter now. =(
I want to go on that OCIP thing.
I would be so much fun.
Tonnes in fact.
I'll love it.
Hope.
I feel as though i'm currently wandering aimlessly about.
Nothing much to worry about i should think.
But sometimes i really wonder who am i to you.
I doubt you know i'm referring to you.
Haha.
Wad a fool life makes of us.
Lets all make FULL use of it. Not "fool" use of it.
Pun intended.
Tml's a CIP day.
=)
Thursday, July 05, 2007
And so the school term begins. Not with a bang but with a wary sigh.
Nothing done is ever enough i really suspect that they expect you to sell your soul and suck ur very existence. JC life is not a bed of roses. At least not for me. Hardly. I feel exhausted. Where has the reassurance all gone? Nvm its all for another long 4 months. Its gonna be torturous but i'm not about to give up at this point in time. Not worth it. Its time to truly understand the importance of A levels and stop procrastinating like nobody's business. Its conviction.
No time to fool around. Urgh. =(
Nothing done is ever enough i really suspect that they expect you to sell your soul and suck ur very existence. JC life is not a bed of roses. At least not for me. Hardly. I feel exhausted. Where has the reassurance all gone? Nvm its all for another long 4 months. Its gonna be torturous but i'm not about to give up at this point in time. Not worth it. Its time to truly understand the importance of A levels and stop procrastinating like nobody's business. Its conviction.
No time to fool around. Urgh. =(
