What a terrible upsetting thing this whole birthday celebrations is turning out to be. People that I count on to do things that they previously promised to do have broken their promises, and my heart along with it. I don't know how else to describe my current feelings, I feel alone in this. I feel numb and very very disappointed. All of a sudden, I don't believe in promises, simply because they hurt me far too much when they are broken.

First the decor. I probably should rely more on myself and not believe it when others offer to help. Afterall, it seems like I'm the one who is going to be doing most of it, if not all of it. Right, everyone has their own schedules to follow, their own things to do but I really can't help feeling neglected. No follow ups. And I feel almost like I'm begging people to help me. It is horrible. Tomorrow is the day and decor is not even one bit done. 

Broken promises... You for one, I wouldn't count on anymore. You have broken promises and this time, taking everything into account, it hurts much more. 

So feel like calling this whole thing off. I'm tired. Someone please understand. =(