Packing my things into the luggage. I can't believe my flight is tomorrow!! It is so soon so soon I'm almost ready to freak out. =x Part of me is really really excited to go. Can't wait to explore Sweden and Europe! Another part of me is feeling that all of this is so surreal, almost fake, that its all a dream and I'm going to wake up any moment now. There's also this part of me that wishes I'm not leaving because of the people and things that I would be leaving behind...
Been thinking through this whole "moving" for a long time now. I'm convinced that it would be a really good experience as well as a really good opportunity for me to learn and find my own independence. There is also the need to remove myself from the familiar by getting away from Singapore to rethink so many issues. To find new directions and to affirm my feelings. Its going to be a small physical distance to travel compared to the large emotional hurdle that I am trying to cross.
I'm going to miss all of you so so much. My close friends who are my steady support system (haha now you have to really go the distance to make up for the miles between us!), and most importantly my family. (I will so miss my little brother for all his quirks). The silly boy to whom I will always be the silly girl. And my little minions - my 3 little cousins. I will miss certain people more than others that's for certain. I never thought I would EVER say this, but I might even miss mummy's cooking and nagging. hahaha.
May I have a safe and enriching trip. Yahoo!! =D
What a terrible upsetting thing this whole birthday celebrations is turning out to be. People that I count on to do things that they previously promised to do have broken their promises, and my heart along with it. I don't know how else to describe my current feelings, I feel alone in this. I feel numb and very very disappointed. All of a sudden, I don't believe in promises, simply because they hurt me far too much when they are broken.
First the decor. I probably should rely more on myself and not believe it when others offer to help. Afterall, it seems like I'm the one who is going to be doing most of it, if not all of it. Right, everyone has their own schedules to follow, their own things to do but I really can't help feeling neglected. No follow ups. And I feel almost like I'm begging people to help me. It is horrible. Tomorrow is the day and decor is not even one bit done.
Broken promises... You for one, I wouldn't count on anymore. You have broken promises and this time, taking everything into account, it hurts much more.
So feel like calling this whole thing off. I'm tired. Someone please understand. =(
