Sunday, May 02, 2010
The past few days were spent with the books and notes and readings. Oh what a terrible time. Some of my readings are affectionately named now thanks to their characteristics that I find oh so endearing. Sleepinducing, sleepprovoking, sleepdeprivingme! All of them come from the same family indeed.
Have been doing quite a bit of thinking the past few days too. I suppose that is due to all the studying. The studying causes me to have late nights which makes me depressed which makes me all emotional which in turn causes my mind to wander and get fixated on emotional problems. Oh that feeling sure sucks. Trust me, late night depressing alone really is the bummer.
Well well, I guess through all that thinking, I have made some decisions. One major one really, one that hinges on many other smaller decisions. I have managed to reason logically and rationally to myself that some people in life really don't matter all that much. And with respect to that, I should not waste time and energy and effort on keeping the company of these people. It may sound kind of sadistic and cynical to you but in the long run, maybe things might be easier on everyone if I stop obsessing about how well I am treating the people who are actively involved in my life and probably the next person that walks into my life. Things would definitely be easier, given the lesser amount of patience and love that I have to invest. With a thought for my sanity, I do have a limited amount of me that I can afford to give to others. For purely selfish reasons, I am now going to choose more personal time over wasting time on person/people who do not appreciate my presence in their lives.
It takes 2 hands to clap. I am the one that is going to refuse to hang around till the other hand decides its time to give a round of applause. I have been waiting for that phantom hand far too long. Its better this way, I need to moisturize and love that hand that has been exposed to the elements lest it falls off due to negligence and pure silliness. Adopt a new philosophy of life, maybe it will serve to sooth my battered emotions.
Change is in the books for me. I will embrace it this time around.
"without you, would life as I know it cease to exist?"
The answer is probably 'no'. I was only wishing it was a 'yes'.
Have been doing quite a bit of thinking the past few days too. I suppose that is due to all the studying. The studying causes me to have late nights which makes me depressed which makes me all emotional which in turn causes my mind to wander and get fixated on emotional problems. Oh that feeling sure sucks. Trust me, late night depressing alone really is the bummer.
Well well, I guess through all that thinking, I have made some decisions. One major one really, one that hinges on many other smaller decisions. I have managed to reason logically and rationally to myself that some people in life really don't matter all that much. And with respect to that, I should not waste time and energy and effort on keeping the company of these people. It may sound kind of sadistic and cynical to you but in the long run, maybe things might be easier on everyone if I stop obsessing about how well I am treating the people who are actively involved in my life and probably the next person that walks into my life. Things would definitely be easier, given the lesser amount of patience and love that I have to invest. With a thought for my sanity, I do have a limited amount of me that I can afford to give to others. For purely selfish reasons, I am now going to choose more personal time over wasting time on person/people who do not appreciate my presence in their lives.
It takes 2 hands to clap. I am the one that is going to refuse to hang around till the other hand decides its time to give a round of applause. I have been waiting for that phantom hand far too long. Its better this way, I need to moisturize and love that hand that has been exposed to the elements lest it falls off due to negligence and pure silliness. Adopt a new philosophy of life, maybe it will serve to sooth my battered emotions.
Change is in the books for me. I will embrace it this time around.
"without you, would life as I know it cease to exist?"
The answer is probably 'no'. I was only wishing it was a 'yes'.
