Friday, March 03, 2006
I noe this is inevitable. Since the day i got my o-level results. Staring at the com screen early this morning was no joke. Seeing my name and where i'm posted to. Tears juz rolled down my cheeks. I'm so disappointed with myself. Can't even live up to my own expectations of myself. Never thought that i would not be rejected by tj. I was in a daze the whole time. When i left the house for tj to appeal, my mind was blank. I was thinking "so is this the way fate is treating me, y is it so unfair?" I refused to accept it and therefore the tears. Red and puffy eyes, i was a sight. Early in the morning and i din have the brains to noe that whitesand's shops would not be open. My mind was juz not there with me. I wondered around on the road till i found a taxi, in it i juz muttered to the driver that i want to go to tj. Din noe how long the journey took cause i was spacing out. All i knew was that i'm lost. refusing to accept the results.
All the implications that come with it. My mind juz blanked out. All my friends, the culture of vj... My class. I'm gonna lose all that. Tears came easily. Thank god that jian was still around in tj when i reached there if not i think i would not have known wad to do. Brought me to the photocopying shop, brought me to the GO, waited till i finish filling up the form and brought me out of tj. Really grateful to him. Sometimes it is during those times where u are feeling lost that u find out who really cares for u. I don want to lose my og mates, my classmates and everyone in vj. I felt as though my life was over. Now i donno wad to expect.
Luckily i found friends that help cheer me up. So glad for them. Fel talked to me and told me not to think too much. Pam told me not to do anything stupid when i told her i'm all alone at city link. Sam encouraged me and told me it is alright. Ning said nice stuff to me too. Joyce also told me to cheer up. Saili came to pei me and made me feel loads better. Her boyfriend also made me laugh. Lisabelle cheered me up the most cause she knew how to make me feel better, she really noes me well. Jian also tried to make me feel better. Visoth tried encouraging me, qin shan told me not to be sad. Mag told me it would be alright... Thank god for them. My parents also called to encourage me...
HAiz i'm feeling so emotional now. I have gone around telling people that i'll miss them. I'm serious about it though. Guess the one i'll miss most would be the one who is oblivious to everything. Haiz... Does it matter animore? All i can say is "i'll miss u" and hope he'll say the same to me. I'm waiting but i doubt that he'll ever say anithing like that to me. I just want to noe that i made a difference...
All the implications that come with it. My mind juz blanked out. All my friends, the culture of vj... My class. I'm gonna lose all that. Tears came easily. Thank god that jian was still around in tj when i reached there if not i think i would not have known wad to do. Brought me to the photocopying shop, brought me to the GO, waited till i finish filling up the form and brought me out of tj. Really grateful to him. Sometimes it is during those times where u are feeling lost that u find out who really cares for u. I don want to lose my og mates, my classmates and everyone in vj. I felt as though my life was over. Now i donno wad to expect.
Luckily i found friends that help cheer me up. So glad for them. Fel talked to me and told me not to think too much. Pam told me not to do anything stupid when i told her i'm all alone at city link. Sam encouraged me and told me it is alright. Ning said nice stuff to me too. Joyce also told me to cheer up. Saili came to pei me and made me feel loads better. Her boyfriend also made me laugh. Lisabelle cheered me up the most cause she knew how to make me feel better, she really noes me well. Jian also tried to make me feel better. Visoth tried encouraging me, qin shan told me not to be sad. Mag told me it would be alright... Thank god for them. My parents also called to encourage me...
HAiz i'm feeling so emotional now. I have gone around telling people that i'll miss them. I'm serious about it though. Guess the one i'll miss most would be the one who is oblivious to everything. Haiz... Does it matter animore? All i can say is "i'll miss u" and hope he'll say the same to me. I'm waiting but i doubt that he'll ever say anithing like that to me. I just want to noe that i made a difference...
